Showing posts with label trollpants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trollpants. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 26, 2020

President Trump is very popular in India



Welcome again to Troll Time, with your host, Dave Trollpants.

So how about all that news coverage of the Big Bad Orange Man's (BBOM) visit to India at the moment? I mean shit, wow, here we are in the middle of the sensory saturation coverage of an almost meaningless bullshit primary election of billionaires, and all of a sudden we're getting bombarded with news of India's love of BBOM!

One of the largest educated populations on Earth packed 120,000 people into the world's largest cricket stadium to see BBOM. At the rally many people wore red "Namaste Trump" hats as a sign of support. Who would have thought India had so many white supremacists? And there we were with the kooky far-left doomsayers telling us BBOM has no appeal in other countries, but now it turns out they were completely wrong again, and again, and again, and again. Does the kooky far-left actually know anything at all or do they just like making wild predictions and statements that keep being proven unequivocally WRONG!!

"President Trump is very popular in India, according to a recent poll. A Pew Research survey released last month showed that the percentage of Indians that disapprove of Mr. Trump’s foreign policy is 15%, the lowest of 32 countries surveyed. Meanwhile, India had the fifth highest approval rating for Trump’s foreign policy, at 56%, double its approval ratings for German Chancellor Angela Merkel and French President Emmanuel Macron."

It also turns out India shares our concern for Islamic terrorism, which is not surprising considering how close they are to the Middle East and that 1/7th of their population is Muslim. India and the US are looking to become close partners in defense, and during the rally BBOM announced a $3 billion deal to sell military helicopters to India. Well fuck, there goes the economy and world peace.




- Dave Bad Person



P.S. from the poll stats you can figure that 29% of Indians don't give a crap about his foreign policy, which is over 400 million people, significantly more than the entire population of the United States 🤣




Wednesday, February 19, 2020

The race for the battle for the nomination for the fight to potentially become president

Welcome again to Troll Time, with your host Dave Trollpants.

Welcome back to our non-stop coverage of the race for the battle for the nomination for the fight to potentially become president. In the unrepresentative state of Iowa, a Byzantine selection process has maybe chosen Buttgeek, or maybe Sanders, we're not sure. Meanwhile in New Hampshire, Buttgeek came second and Klobuchar came third, which is important because second and third place are the lead stories.

Now all the Democrats need to worry about is how they'll select an electable candidate if Sanders keeps getting more votes. Fortunately Mike Bloomberg is here to save the day with $400 million in advertising to saturate the airwaves. All Bloomberg needs now is an actual message and some popular support, and he's absolutely guaranteed to win!

Tune in next week when we'll discuss how Bernie's plan for universal health care will lead to gulags and mass executions. Socialism is a slippery slope folks!

And now these message from Mike Bloomberg....


-Dave Trollpants


Credit to This Modern World