Thursday, September 5, 2019

German cars are shit



German cars are shit. Apart from the old Beetles and Combi vans, Volkswagens are shit. VW/Audi/Porsche engaged in shady business practices by making software that retuned their diesel engines whenever it detected that emissions testing equipment was hooked up to their vehicles. Even the highest end Audis had this software. Some of these cars put out 40 times the legal limit of nitrous oxides. Meanwhile, American and Japanese cars meet these emissions standards.

JD Power Long Term Dependability Studies, which regularly rank American and Japanese cars as the most dependable, put German cars into entirely different categories, such as "Broke Down on the Way to Test Facility". In fact it was only in the last few years that German cars reached the same level of dependability as American and Japanese cars. For the previous 30 years before that they fell below the dependability of other brands.

The VW Jetta is consistently rated as a 1.5 star vehicle in consumer reports. The BMW X5 2011-2014 models were lemons. The first generation BMW X3s were lemons. The VW Tiguan is a lemon and the 2018 model was recalled for safety issues. The Mercedes GLC 2016-2017 models were designed such that even the simplest problems required hoisting the engine out, multiplying the cost of repairs enormously. All the repairs on German luxury cars are extremely expensive, but the parts are not made from better materials, so they don't last any longer and need to be replaced regularly, and at great expense. Why the extra cost for materials that are not higher quality? Well known German auto maker BMW bought the well known British miniature car maker, Mini, and since then the Mini Cooper S has become notorious for overheating and numerous other quirks. The Mini Cooper Countryman's transmission often fails after only 60K miles, and it has serious safety issues. The BMW 3-series 2008-2011 models have such bad cooling issues that it's recommended to replace the water pump and thermostat every 30,000 miles. The Audi A4 is the biggest heap of shit of all, known for misfiring due to failed spark plugs and coils, eating oil, and early failure of transmissions.

Just as an inside to German engineering in general, I'd just like to mentioned that I've worked for various technology companies over the years, and I currently work for a German technology company, and it's clear to me that their software development process is complete and utter shit, and I'm not even a software professional, I'm a hardware guy! Their IT department is shit too. And if you've ever had to rack equipment into German-built Euro-style electronics mounting racks, the ones with the round holes, you know that you want to personally strangle the inventor of these racks with your bare hands when you're finished working on them. So not only are German cars shit, but German engineering in general is shit.

The Germans are essentially resting on the laurels they gained as great engineers during the middle of the 20th century. That's why you still see VW Beetles and vans around, and old Mercedes. However those days appear to be gone. The people who tell you a German car will last a million miles are the same ones that buy a new S class every three years.

So... clearly the people who are buying German cars are doing so because they don't do their research and know nothing about cars. But we kind of already knew that :-)



-Dave Bad Person




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